leaving my hommie... again
current music : details in the fabric - jason mraz ft james morrison
entah knapa gue pengen nangis tiap kali denger lagu itu..
about being home and away..
sering bgt gak sih, kaya gini :
pas lo di asrama/kosan, lo kangen rumah dan segala kenyamanan hidup bernama makanan bergizi dan diurus nyokap/si mbok,,, eh, pas lo di rumah, rasanya empet bgt pas orang rumah berkaliaran dan lo jadi kangen temen-temen lo di asrama/kosan
4 tahun ini gue selalu kayak gitu.
rumah-asrama-rumah-asrama...
dan rasanya capek.
2 hari yang lalu, baru aja gue teriak-teriak di kamar, kalo gue pengen cepet ngekos, keluar dari rumah,, jauh-jauh dari ocehan keponakan gue (umurnya baru 4 taun sih.. yah, lagi cerewet2nya deh) dan omelan bokap nyokap gue.
ortu gue sih, untungnya, gak sering ngomel. mereka cuman... yah, orang tua gue, gitu. There's a point where every parents would react the same. mo bokap lo santai, mo bokap lo kejam... yah, they're just being typically parents sometimes.
trus tiba-tiba,, tadi pagi gue baru nyadar. gila, ntar malem gue bakal pindahan ke bandung..
lagi-lagi, gue gak bakal tinggal di rumah.
some might say that it's not a big deal. but, hey, i've always been a domestic kiddo. anak rumahan, yang lebih suka ide nonton dvd di rumah sambil makan keripik daripada harus keluar nonton bioskop.
jadi inget, kira-kira hampir 2 taun yang lalu, gue juga bangun tidur dengan perasaan kaya gitu. rasanya isi perut gue tuh mencelos, gitu.. trus deg-degan ga enak gitu deh.
2 taun lalu, gue bangun dan nyadar kalo gue harus berangkat ke belgia, buat tinggal setaun disana tanpa keluarga gue.
that feeling was horrible. the idea of leaving home, taking care of myself, going back to that other 'home' and eating without my Ma shouting, "would u please come to eat???!!",..
well okay.
skarang sambil nulis ini.. gue bakal mikir dengan lebih tenang.
taun ini umur gue 19. gila, harusnya gue udah mandiri bgt kan skarang??
tanggal 12 agustus gua bakal jadi mahasiswi,, another reason to scold myself for being all-sticky-and-clingy to my parents.
I've been away from home before, tanpa pulang selama 1 taun, further than than i thought i could handle,, ut, hey, i made it through!
and, 4, 5 years from now.. i might be the one who has to take care of my parents. people get older, i realize that. as sad it is to imagine,, elderness will get to my parents too. there'll come a day when they will need someone to take care of them, and i should be there to repay all their troubles of raising me up.
sigh.
melancholy..
i need to get a hold of myself.
*kayanya ini efek dari nonton "up" deh. entah knapa pas gue nonton itu, gue nangis liat kakek-kakeknya.. disaat semua orang ketawa. tapi bagus kok filmnya*

